My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
