also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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