yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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