Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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