My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
