i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
