What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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