just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
