That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize