Don't you send me to vm
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
