sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
