i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
high people should be assigned attendants
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
