had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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