party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
