Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize