Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
