Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
