I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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