I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
