She said her name was "party"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
