can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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