so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
