just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
