i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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