He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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