Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize