Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
