im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
