what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
