I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
