people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
