did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
