the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
