I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
