hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
