Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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