remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's blow job season.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
