is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
