ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
