So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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