the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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