My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
