I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
