Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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