Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
