Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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