Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
