I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
tell me about the fingering
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