thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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