My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
