why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
