There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think i have herpe
just one?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
