I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm passing your future prison.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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