Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
