True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i think my cat just said my name.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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