Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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