I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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