"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
