rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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