u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
