I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
