At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
