Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am mentally ready for anal.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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