Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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