Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
